Here I am, LORD send me.

Back in March, I started going through the book of Philippians in my quiet time with the Lord. I really don’t remember what exactly led me to that book, but I just figured that I should study it. With no expectation of anything spectacular, I was eager to learn more about my Savior and how I can serve Him better.

Plus I really enjoy Paul’s writings.

Thus, I dived into Philippians with excitement and was immediately captivated. Several weeks into it, I came to chapter 3 and every moment was juicy and full of sweet honey. I couldn’t get enough of that word. I probably read and re-read that chapter 4 or 5 times in my studying. But what really got my heart::

“(18) For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ, (19) whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their mind on earthly things.”

That picture of Paul, probably sitting with his head in his hands, weeping sad, deep, and heartfelt tears, just broke. My. Heart.

Even now, as I am remembering my time in Philippians, tears are streaming down my face. Who am I? Why am I here on this earth? Am I seeking selfish gain to produce a life that is beneficial for myself? For me to be comfortable? Or am I fully and seriously::

“(7) But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.”

So it was then that God had seriously placed reaching a people whose “god is their appetite and glory is their shame”. So I said, like Isaiah, “LORD here I am, send me”

Its been several months since this heart change, but God has been speaking to and preparing my heart for this life as a servant. I have been praying about places to go out and serve and one thing that is constantly laid on my heart is a people across the deep blue. In a land where communism is always at their doorstep and the threat of harsh consequences of believing anything other than the approved “religion” is thick. As thick as a bramble full of thorns and darkness.

Here I am, LORD send me.

My God is so much greater and more sovereign than communism and darkness. Praise Him! The blessing of the LORD is that His light will pierce through any darkness. His glory will be made known in every country. His love WILL be spread. Though the bramble of life entangle all who come in contact with it, though it is exhausting and dark, the fruit of a life of Christ will bloom and blossom. The flowers of Christ will show through and provide life, love, food, and water for the people who encounter it so that they will never be hungry or thirsty again.

Here I am, LORD send me.

So, here I am, being called in such a way that my heart cannot be swayed. I am sold out for Christ and His purpose.  Because of this, I am going.

I am going to East Asia!